4.2.2011

9 am – “How am I?”
Naz called this morning. We are filled with gratitude to all of you who have already “showed up and showed out.” Many of you are committed to walking through this with us, and even see some political change happen in the process. Like one of our friends said last night, “This is the story Waco has been waiting for. It is a story of someone who came to Waco, as an addict and criminal, who was able to turn his life completely around with the resources from Waco’s community and not only get better but GIVE BACK.” This is inspiration, people! This guy isn’t simply here to live the self-centered American Dream. He is here to contribute to the healing and recovery of a hurting community in the heart of Texas!
I am very proud of his courage and his hopefulness. And how am I doing, you ask? Well, I continue to see how God has had his hand in EVERY area of my life, preparing me for this time.  It is painful and shocking, I feel like a great injustice has been done, but I have opened my hands and told God, “Take what you will. We are simply your vessels to use, to bring light and life to the world.” I sometimes get angry, because I want MY husband back. But this morning I was looking at a wedding picture of ours and realized, ultimately, Nazry is HIS. I cannot pull Naz so tight to myself and refuse to let him go, in order to be used by God in a mighty way. In the same way that I hold my earthly possessions with an open hand, I must also hold my husband. Naz is a child of God and if He wants to use him in any way, I will simply pray for God’s peace and grace to abound in the midst of it all. I love my husband with everything inside of me. He is truly the most remarkable man I know. He is a gift, but for now, a gift that I must relinquish over to a good and faithful Father. I trust Him. And at the end of the day, at the end of this life, that’s all that I’ve got. My relationship with my Savior and my trust in his goodness and sovereignty. LOVE. Hope

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